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THE UGLY IN ME (The Insecurities in Me) + BONUS piece

I saw him. He showed himself, this time and he was relentless. He always comes in just when I think I have the situation under control. He swoops in and grabs the reigns and takes my sleigh completely off course. He breaks dishes, to keep from breaking bones. He loves to poke, and provoke. I can always tell when he is about to show up. My heart starts to be really fast, so fast that you could almost see it outside my chest. My hands get sweaty like I have been in a group prayer for three days. Things began to get blurry and when my vision is fully restored he has came and left and I have to pick up the pieces from his destruction. He has often interrupts conversations with friends,and turns them into arguments, makes me disrespect my family, and just truly puts me beside myself. I often wonder if I will ever be able to fully control the him. His name is ANGER and is THE UGLY IN ME.


I haven't seen the sun in 3 days. The light that peeks in the shade doesn't even illuminate the room, just gives a brighter look at a dark disposition. Times like this I think back to when I was 18. A fireball. A burning burst of sunlight that could light up any room. Sun rays followed me on my darkest day. I could shine through the shadows that overshadowed my path. Since those days its been a lot of rain. This fire that once burned bright seems now to be a pile of ashes, with pieces of burned memories laying in the soot. As the piece whirl around in the wind I look back on the things I have done, my dreams and aspirations. I was full of the light. Now I look out the window hoping that the rain clouds would move letting the sun come and show me the things I have missed seeing since it left. Show me opportunity, show me prosperity, show happiness, and all the other things that live in the sunlight. I dont want to continue to live like this. I dont want to wallow in the soot, laying here singed, waiting the be blown away. I dont want to live as a extinguished flame. So I will continue to wait for the sun, but I am going to get me a match, and when the moment strikes I will spark, and once again ignite the light within.

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